... and my heart sank.

Not because she was wrong - goodness no, I totally believed her - the thing that was causing her anxiety would definitely be fine.

But I was sad because we'd reached the end of the session, and she hadn't recognised that the thing she was worrying about was going to be fine because SHE WAS WORKING LIKE A DEMON TO MAKE IT FINE.

It wasn't just going to turn out fine without all the thinking and planning and worrying and organising she was currently doing.

We had a look at why she hadn't noticed that in a later session, and I thought I'd raise it here, because she's not alone by any stretch of the imagination.

Anxiety has a purpose. It can keep us safe and it can help us prepare. Being anxious about something can be useful, if you feel able to act on the anxiety. 

However, if there are so many things that you are anxious about that you cannot fully pay attention to each thing, then your anxiety might ratchet up a level. Or if you are not able to do whatever you need to do to take care of the anxiety, then it might just lurk or grow.

Now I want you to think about how many little things you take care of as a mother, partner, employee, friend, child... It is a lot. And if you're struggling to have the time to think about all these things properly, then you might start to feel out of control, or overwhelmed, or anxious...

So rather than demonising your anxiety, it might be a perfectly rational response to the amount of headspace and practical support you do or don't have. And if that rings true for you, it might mean you can think about it in a different way...

If this was thought provoking for you, you might enjoy reading this post I wrote about the things we don't notice we're doing here. If you're experiencing anxiety soon after having a baby, you might also be interested in the free resources I have put together to help mothers who are experiencing this.